Guiding Principles Examples Personal Statements

by Geoff Pynn

As the graduate adviser for my department’s terminal MA program at NIU, I answer a lot of questions about applying to PhD programs in philosophy. I feel pretty confident about my answers to most of them. But there is one question about which I don’t feel confident at all:

What should I say in my personal statement?

Departmental websites tend to be pretty vague about what they’re looking for in this part of the application. “[I]f you can tell us a bit more about your background and interests, this information might be helpful,” Yale advises. Rutgers asks for “a short essay on why you are interested in applying to your program.” These instructions are pretty representative.

Since now is the time of year when prospective applicants start to worry about these things, I thought it would be useful to share the general advice I give in response to this question, and find out how it squares with the expectations and experiences of the people reading them. If it’s terrible advice, I’d like to know! And if it’s good advice, it seems worth sharing with others. So, here goes:

Do no harm

This should be your guiding principle. A great personal statement is unlikely to make the difference between your application being accepted and being rejected, but a terrible personal statement might result in a borderline application being moved to the reject pile. People on admissions committees will pay significantly closer attention to your writing sample, grades, test scores, and letters of recommendation. Taking risks in your writing sample can pay off; taking risks in your personal statement is unlikely to help and may very well hurt.

Be concise and substantive

Less than one double-spaced page is probably too short; anything more than three full double-spaced pages is probably too long. Don’t waste time on platitudes about how much you love philosophy, how deeply you cherish the life of the mind, what a privilege it would be to join the department at X, etc. Everybody reading your statement already assumes those things are true. Why else would you be applying to their program? Make each sentence count; don’t make your reader feel like she has to work to get to the point.

Be specific, but non-committal, about your interests

Describe your philosophical interests honestly, intelligently, and in specific terms. Don’t just say you’re interested in epistemology (for example); say what problems or topics in epistemology interest you and why. If you can, show you know something about what is going on in the field, talk about your best paper or conference presentation on relevant questions, and describe some issues and arguments you’d like to work on further. If you wrote a thesis that lays a groundwork for future research, it can be good to describe it. But don’t give the impression that you already know what you’re going to argue in your dissertation. You’ll have two years of coursework and probably another year or two of guided research before your dissertation topic is even settled. Departments aren’t interested in applicants who don’t think they have anything to learn.

Show you’ve done your homework, but only if you really have

If there is a particular researcher or group you’re excited about at the department, talk about this. But only do this if your excitement is based on real knowledge of what those folks are actually doing — ideally knowledge acquired by reading their work, seeing them give talks, having conversations with them, talking with your own professors, etc. Do not just copypaste the names of all the people who work in your areas from the department website and proclaim your excitement about working with them. This makes you look like a bullshitter. 

In my experience, students invest the most time and energy into trying to sell their interests as a good fit to the most prestigious, competitive departments to which they’re applying. This is not an unreasonable strategy, but I think you can expect more bang for your homework buck by researching the departments that may not be your top choices. Just about everybody applying to NYU with an interest in metaphysics is going to talk about Kit Fine; you won’t stand out by showing off what you know about his work on vagueness or grounding. There are brilliant philosophers doing fascinating, exciting work at all of the departments you’re likely to consider, even the places you might think of as your “safety” schools. You can make a great impression by showing that you’re familiar with what’s going on at somewhat lower-prestige programs, and evincing genuine enthusiasm about them.

If you have a compelling history or relevant personal background, mention it, but don’t disclose too much

If you’ve had to overcome significant hurdles to make it where you are today, it can be helpful to tell your story (briefly). If there is some cool, interesting, memorable element of your personal history, feel free to work it into the statement. (I still remember the applicant who grew up in a travelling circus!) If you have a non-standard background — you’re in the midst of changing careers or fields, you aren’t currently enrolled in a philosophy degree program, or you didn’t graduate from one within the last few years — say what led you to philosophy and how your background prepares you to succeed in graduate school.

However, be cautious about disclosing too much personal information. I’ve read statements from applicants describing their struggles with addiction, eating disorders, mental health problems, appearances before disciplinary boards, family troubles, and run-ins with the law. Personally, I am drawn to people who have dealt with these kinds of struggles, so these stories tend to make me like the applicants more. But that attitude is not universally shared! There are some tricky moral and legal issues here, but you should avoid giving the admissions committee reason to worry that you are going to have trouble completing the program, or become a “problem” student.

On the other hand, if your personal situation is directly relevant to the academic work you want to do, it would probably be helpful to talk about it. So, for example, if you want to work on the philosophy of disability, and you have a disability, it would probably be helpful to discuss how your own experience as a person with a disability has shaped this interest, if it has. But even in a case like this, you would do well to talk with a trusted advisor, preferably someone who is also writing one of your recommendation letters, when thinking about how to frame your personal story. Unless they are directly relevant to your interests, avoid discussion of your political views or religious beliefs (and even if they are, err on the side of caution).

Unless it’s major, avoid the temptation to explain any weaknesses in your application

Perhaps your Verbal GRE score is low. Though many philosophers say that they do not care about GRE scores, my inductive evidence strongly suggests that many do. A poor GRE score is likely to hurt your chances, at least at some programs. But attempting to explain this problem away in your personal statement (“I have always struggled with standardized tests…”) is almost certainly not going to help. Moreover, it may hurt by calling attention to something the people reading your application may not have been worried about before. One exception to this piece of advice is when there is a major problem with your academic record; e.g., if you got terrible grades in most of your classes one semester because of a medical emergency or family tragedy. Then it is worth explaining the situation briefly, again keeping in mind the advice above about not disclosing too much. If you can, you should discuss how to discuss major issues like this with your recommendation letter writers. The assurances they can provide in their letters that the issue does not reflect your abilities or current situation may be more valuable than your own.

Miscellania: be professional but humble; be polished; don’t be cutesy

You should come across as an early career academic, a self-driven grown-up who can be expected to meet the demands of an exacting program. You should not come across as someone who thinks they are the next Wittgenstein, or as someone who regards themselves as an academic peer with the people reading your application. Don’t refer to your professors or those at the program by their first names, even if you know them and would do so in person; be deferential and respectful. Keep in mind that whatever else it does, your personal statement provides further evidence about your writing skills, so ask at least one person who is a good writer to carefully proofread your statement. Don’t be jokey, self-deprecating, or overly clever. Remember the guiding principle: do no harm.

Don’t mention your two-or-more-body problem

It’s best not to call attention to the fact that your ultimate decision about where to attend graduate school will depend in part upon your significant other’s (or others’) decisions, even if this is true. (This is the piece of advice I am least confident about.)

These are only meant as general guidelines. I am certain that some applicants have been helped by personal statements that violate all of them! And as I said before, I’m not especially confident in them: they seem plausible, and the people I’ve asked about them tend to agree, but it is hard to know. I’m quite interested to hear what others think.

Let us know in the comments section below!

Geoff Pynn is associate professor of philosophy at Northern Illinois University, where he has been the graduate adviser for the department’s terminal MA program since 2011.

Categories ServiceTags applications, editor; Michaela Maxwell, Geoff Pynn, Grad School, Graduate School, Personal Statements

Introductions

The introduction is the most important part of your essay, and its one purpose above all others is to draw in the reader. Ideally, your introduction should grab the reader's attention right from the first sentence. If the introduction can proceed to orient the reader to the focus of the essay, that can be very helpful. But orientation is not an essential purpose because that can be achieved gradually throughout the course of the essay.

Many students make the mistake of over-explaining in the introductory paragraph what they will be talking about in the rest of the essay. Such paragraphs may include something similar to the following: "My journey toward graduate school has been shaped by a variety of experiences, including academic studies, volunteer work, and extracurricular activities." This is quite simply a waste of time and space. The reader already knows that you will be addressing these things and is most likely thinking, "Get to the point."

If your essay opens with a paragraph such as this, the best move would be to delete it. Often, your second paragraph, which begins to discuss a specific experience, will work much better as an introduction. You may also find that a later paragraph works even better. In general, you should bring your most compelling experience to the forefront and then structure your essay around it.

The following is a list of possible approaches to the introduction, with an emphasis on the opening sentence itself.

Jump Right In

Some people will start with a compelling experience but will insist on prefacing that experience with a very generic statement such as: "From the first time I looked through a microscope, I knew that science was my calling." Often, the reason people will open with such a statement is that they feel compelled to restate the question in some way. This is unnecessary and more than likely to bore your reader right out of the gate. You should be able to demonstrate your reasons without relying on such a bland summary sentence.

If, on the other hand, you are tempted to use the first sentence to explain context, you should respect the reader's intelligence enough to save that context for later, once you have grabbed the reader's attention. Consider the following example, taken from this essay:

"Perhaps the most important influence that has shaped the person I am today is my upbringing in a traditional family-oriented Persian and Zoroastrian culture. My family has been an important source of support in all of the decisions I have made, and Zoroastrianism's three basic tenets—good words, good deeds, and good thoughts—have been my guiding principles in life."

Although the question asks the applicant to describe his influences, he need not restate that line. Moreover, he can delay explaining the context of his upbringing. Review the following restructure, which grabs the reader's attention more immediately and conveys the necessary context in time:

"Good words, good deeds, and good thoughts—these are the three basic Zoroastrian tenets that have shaped my guiding principles. Indeed, my upbringing in a traditional Persian and Zoroastrian culture and all the family support that entails have come to define me more than any other influence."

The advice to jump right in also applies to anecdotes. Rather than set the stage for a story with boring exposition, beginning your essay with some interesting action is often an effective way to draw in your reader.

Show Your Originality

If you can make yourself stand out right from the first sentence, then you will have significantly improved your chances for admission. You should not, of course, just throw out random facts about yourself. The inclusion of such statements should fall within the larger context of your essay. But if you are going to emphasize a unique aspect of your life, then, by all means, it should come up right away.

State a Problem

By stating a problem, you create instant curiosity because the reader will want to see how you address it. This applicant actually opens with a rhetorical question, wasting no time. The remainder of the essay explores the concept of "middleware" and its relevance to the applicant's career.

This applicant, on the other hand, deals with a more urgent social issue that has affected her personally. The remainder of the essay does not purport to solve the problem, but rather to demonstrate her in-depth understanding of it and the level of her commitment to her cause.

Instead of dealing with external issues, you can also discuss personal difficulties and how you have struggled through them. There are many possibilities here, but what unites them is the element of drama, and you should use that to your advantage in creating a strong lead.

Being Offbeat

This type of approach is risky, but because it has the potential to be so effective, it is worth considering. The same warnings apply here that we enumerated for humor in the Tone section. Try to be subtly and creatively clever rather than outrageous.

This applicant begins with a joke about his prospective institution: "You'd think I would have had my fill of Indiana winters. But, here I am, applying to go back, ready to dig my parka out of storage. It's not like I've been gone long enough to forget the cold, either. In some ways, I feel as if that permacloud is still hanging over me." The introduction goes on to make some jokes about the applicant's potential concerns. These musings don't serve much of a substantive purpose except to establish the writer's familiarity with the school. On the other hand, they do make the reader more comfortable with the writer's style as he goes on to make more serious points.

Next:Conclusions

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